Saturday 23 March 2013

Potpourri of Thoughts Part 1

So I'm pretty sure I will try having baby #3 in late 2014. I'm still hoping that my frozen embryos will be available to me. Specifically, I hope to bring over a surrogate but not sure if that is possible. I have received a response from the clinic, which I appreciate given everything they are going through right now. Basically, it's a waiting game as their lawyer looks into the possibility of me bringing over a surrogate. Perhaps that might help my cause versus using an Indian surrogate - probably not but dreams are free! I am also crossing my fingers for all the other single and LGBT clients out there with frozen embryos! I have been blessed with two children and my heart wants the same for everyone. For now, we wait... both patiently and impatiently.

So after experiencing life with two kiddies in the last couple of months, I've gotten back to thinking about my next child. Specifically, how challenging it would be if I ended up with twins. After saying that, I would rather have twins than no baby. Even so, if I am able to bring over a surrogate, I would most likely implant the maximum four embryos to increase my chances of having a baby. As a single parent (albeit an uber-organized, emotionally-balanced one) life is pretty manageable with two kiddies and would be probably so with three but four kids? :) Initially, I was going to hire a nanny but that would defeat the purpose of having kids in my personal opinion but I appreciate others may have a different perspective. I actually quite enjoy being a single parent (appreciating I haven't experienced anything different), making the decisions and doing things my own efficient way, similar to Kate Gosselin but with way fewer children! LOL! But if I were blessed with twins this time around, I would hire some help for sure - probably a part-time housekeeper moreso than a nanny. Of course, I have all my family and friends in-town but I am the parent - they are a great resource but I never rely on them 24/7.

I cannot believe that 2 months has already come and gone. I have around 8 months of parental leave remaining. In Canada, I (as the father) can only receive a maximum of 35 weeks of parental benefits and of course, no maternity benefits, which is 17 weeks max in total. The benefit is only around a maximum of $800 every 2 weeks - nowhere near what I earn but something is better than nothing so not complaining. I'm taking extra weeks off without benefits but not concerned as I financially planned it that way. I'm grateful that my boss granted me the extended leave as I do have a higher profile position in the company plus companies are only legislatively required to provide 35 weeks of parental leave.

Speaking of my daughter, her 100-day celebration of life is also fast approaching in late April. In the Chinese culture, it's known as a Red Egg & Ginger Party. To keep the numbers down (only 110 guests), I rented out a small Chinese restaurant (which includes a set menu for each table). This is pretty small relative to what some of my friends have done for their kids. Kids are important in all cultures but especially in the Chinese culture. I love planning parties but I'm keeping this one simple - just invitations, favours for each guest (including a photocard), a photographer, and a cool "guestbook" (as pictured but will get it made with different coloured frame, background, and hearts). Guests sign a heart and slide it down inside the photo frame.

I also need to find her a dress. There are many online stores that sell very cool baby dresses. One of my favourite online stores is LaBella Flora Children's Boutique. Given the time of the year, I would prefer a dress that had long-sleeves. I also want something classy and age-appropriate - no offense to parents who want to dress up their daughters like "adults" - I usually use a few other terms :) I'm leaning towards something like the "Katie Rose Baby Gown Girls Gown in Ivory Sara" (as pictured). It's not bad at $101 - I can save it for my daughter just in case she has a daughter of her own one day. Plus if I can spend five times that much on an individual aquarium fish, I shouldn't question such a purchase for my daughter! My friends would surely be on my case :)

Part 2 coming in the next post. A friend of mine is a celebrity blogger and always reminds me to keep my posts short and use paragraphs. I use paragraphs but not sure if my posts are actually "short" :) Of course, with two kids, I rarely finish a post in less than three sittings! LOL!

Thank you for letting me share this part of my world with you!


  1. I want another one already too, but what do we do since were gay :( I hope India makes it possiable for furure genarations


    1. Here's hoping for those future generations! As mentioned, for me, hopefully they will be OK with me taking a surrogate to India. We shall wait and see.

  2. I really enjoyed reading your potpourri of thoughts! I was also thinking of perhaps trying for my next baby at the end of 2014. It was a nice surprise to see that you're also from Canada. Maybe we'll be in India at the same time! I hope the situation with the Ministry of Home Affairs clears up by then and single individuals will be granted exit visas for their babies. I also still have embryos frozen in India so I hope everything works out.

    1. Thanks! Yes, let's hope they see how wonderful single and gay parents can be. There are married straight couples who are wonderful parents but some who suck. I'm not suggesting that all single and gay parents are wonderful but it would make more sense to me if they selected clients based on tests that measured how good of a parent one would be :)