I was just made aware of these two articles - thanks, guys! Again, it's hard to trust anything out there but it's info nonetheless.
India's draft surrogacy Bill bars homosexuals, live-in couples
No surrogacy for foreigners: tough new rules planned
However, another blogger found this video that is encouraging and refreshing to hear.
Are new surrogacy laws discriminatory?
Although I have kept (and still keep) my hopes high (and expectations low) about India, I have explored other options in the meantime. I know I don't want to wait too much longer (as initially desired) so I'm hoping to get preggo in early 2014. Unless India surrogacy law changes in my favour as a single individual, the plan is to try for child #3 with my previous surrogate.
Thank you for letting me share this part of my world with you.
All the best to everyone seeking to fulfill their parenthood and family-growing dreams in India! Since the ban on singles in India, I no longer post on this blog on a regular basis but pop by once in while.
Wednesday, 7 August 2013
Monday, 5 August 2013
Surrogacy Bill
Check out this article: Govt to introduce landmark bill on surrogacy.
One simple sentence on foreigners and surrogacy: "The bill also, for the first time, states conditions for foreign couples seeking to hire surrogates in India."
Thank you for letting me share this part of my world with you!
One simple sentence on foreigners and surrogacy: "The bill also, for the first time, states conditions for foreign couples seeking to hire surrogates in India."
Thank you for letting me share this part of my world with you!
Saturday, 27 July 2013
Can It Be True?
I am excited about a potential return to surrogacy in India. I am not sure where things exactly stand with singles but from what I gather, there's a window of opportunity. I have emailed SCI to confirm and I hope to hear good news from them soon. Although I was thinking about waiting before having my next child, there's a part of me that would like to try ASAP. Life is too short for me to wait for the ideal time - I would just make it work. I say this now especially because my daughter is a wonderful 6.5 month old and my son is an awesome 5.5 year old. If they were more work (aka high maintenance), the decision to have a third child NOW would be tougher to make. Also, if the window is opened again, who knows how long it will stay open. I will keep everyone updated and hopefully, I can announce with much excitement a happy return to the SCI family!
Thank you for letting me share this part of my world with you!
Thank you for letting me share this part of my world with you!
Thursday, 23 May 2013
Busy Life
Where has the time gone? Even though I'm taking 10 months off from work to be a full-time parent, there's so much to do especially being a single parent to a 5-year-old and now an infant. But it's all fantastic and honestly, not all that difficult. It's just busy... and mainly because (1) infants require a lot of wonderful attention and planning time and (2) my son is in preschool, and active in sports and the arts. Plus exposing my kids to the world - no matter their age - is important to me so vacationing/travelling adds a fun component to our busy lives.
Given this, I sense my posts will become very infrequent. Of course, I will continue to follow everyone's journey - it just makes my heart smile reading about the successes, current journeys, and upcoming journeys of fellow SCI clients. Being a parent is a right that everyone has, and SCI provides that opportunity through its program.
Although there are rare moments when I ask myself if I really want a third child, I am hopeful that one day that will happen. If my Indian surrogate did not miscarry, it would be about this time that I would have started preparing for a trip back to India. There is some sadness when I think about that but I truly believe, what is meant to be, will be. Like many others, I look forward to reading that India is re-opening its doors to singles (and gay couples) so I can try again with my remaining embryos.
Until then, I have many things to look forward to such as my son's first day in Kindergarten and of course, my daughter's first steps, words, etc. Plus life is really awesome - great friends and family, and a very comfortable and stress/drama-free life. I am truly blessed.
So as they say, it's not goodbye but until next time. I will definitely be back WHEN plans for child #3 is in the works... and I have a positive feeling it will be with SCI again. Thanks to all who have been supportive and all the best to everyone! And believe me when I say - dreams can come true!
As usual and for one last time... thank you for letting me share this part of my world with you!
Given this, I sense my posts will become very infrequent. Of course, I will continue to follow everyone's journey - it just makes my heart smile reading about the successes, current journeys, and upcoming journeys of fellow SCI clients. Being a parent is a right that everyone has, and SCI provides that opportunity through its program.
Although there are rare moments when I ask myself if I really want a third child, I am hopeful that one day that will happen. If my Indian surrogate did not miscarry, it would be about this time that I would have started preparing for a trip back to India. There is some sadness when I think about that but I truly believe, what is meant to be, will be. Like many others, I look forward to reading that India is re-opening its doors to singles (and gay couples) so I can try again with my remaining embryos.
Until then, I have many things to look forward to such as my son's first day in Kindergarten and of course, my daughter's first steps, words, etc. Plus life is really awesome - great friends and family, and a very comfortable and stress/drama-free life. I am truly blessed.
So as they say, it's not goodbye but until next time. I will definitely be back WHEN plans for child #3 is in the works... and I have a positive feeling it will be with SCI again. Thanks to all who have been supportive and all the best to everyone! And believe me when I say - dreams can come true!
As usual and for one last time... thank you for letting me share this part of my world with you!
Wednesday, 1 May 2013
First Baby Vacation
With November fast approaching - I return to work in mid-November - I've been thinking about a vacation. Yes, we've already taken short car trips and will do so in the upcoming months but I was thinking a vacation involving a flight.
The two options are basically Hawaii and Disneyland. I took my son to Disneyland twice in 2012 and we've been to Hawaii (Mau'i specifically) in 2010 and 2011 if memory serves me right. This time, it would be Kaua'i because the rest of the family will be there as well for a wedding. However, the idea of a 10-month old on a 6+ hour flight is not appealing. Of course, I took my son to Oz when he was just 3-months old but he slept most of the time in the airplane's bassinet. He was an exceptional baby.
I am leaning towards Disneyland given the short 3-hour flight plus my parents haven't been back for 30 years. Of course, it would be nice to spend time with my brother and sister-in-law as well as my sister and her family but I don't think that's a strong enough pull for me. Mind you, we all live in the same city and see each other all the time - it would be different if they lived in a different city or we didn't see each other as often as we do. Of course, I might change my mind but there are some great deals on for Disneyland right now for the month I'm planning on going. I always stay onsite and the deals are very tempting but I need to book soon if that is the choice destination.
Otherwise, not much to report. Life is good. Both my son and daughter are well. My little one continues to sleep and eat well. She occasionally sleeps through the night with at most one mid-night feeding. Being on parental leave also is a lot of fun, taking my son to preschool, art class, gym, parks, etc. I don't miss work at all - LOL! I hope everyone in SCI Land is doing well! I am keeping up with the blogs. I still want baby #3 so hopefully it will be in India!
Thank you for letting me share this part of my world with you!
The two options are basically Hawaii and Disneyland. I took my son to Disneyland twice in 2012 and we've been to Hawaii (Mau'i specifically) in 2010 and 2011 if memory serves me right. This time, it would be Kaua'i because the rest of the family will be there as well for a wedding. However, the idea of a 10-month old on a 6+ hour flight is not appealing. Of course, I took my son to Oz when he was just 3-months old but he slept most of the time in the airplane's bassinet. He was an exceptional baby.
I am leaning towards Disneyland given the short 3-hour flight plus my parents haven't been back for 30 years. Of course, it would be nice to spend time with my brother and sister-in-law as well as my sister and her family but I don't think that's a strong enough pull for me. Mind you, we all live in the same city and see each other all the time - it would be different if they lived in a different city or we didn't see each other as often as we do. Of course, I might change my mind but there are some great deals on for Disneyland right now for the month I'm planning on going. I always stay onsite and the deals are very tempting but I need to book soon if that is the choice destination.
Otherwise, not much to report. Life is good. Both my son and daughter are well. My little one continues to sleep and eat well. She occasionally sleeps through the night with at most one mid-night feeding. Being on parental leave also is a lot of fun, taking my son to preschool, art class, gym, parks, etc. I don't miss work at all - LOL! I hope everyone in SCI Land is doing well! I am keeping up with the blogs. I still want baby #3 so hopefully it will be in India!
Thank you for letting me share this part of my world with you!
Tuesday, 9 April 2013
No International Surrogate
I had a brief conversation with the clinic today and as suspected, the law does not permit me to bring over a surrogate to India for a transfer - in my case, a frozen embryo transfer. Such a request was a first for the clinic. Although this is disappointing news, it's finally nice to know that option is a closed door.
However, I still remain positive and hopeful that the law will change. So far everything points towards that based on various conversations. Sounds like in the next few months or so, we might hear some news impacting single persons. For now, as I do everyday, I focus on the positives in my life. I appreciate what I have versus dwell on what I don't have. I continue to dream and plan. I continue to follow the dreams of my fellow SCI clients - it is such an immense joy becoming a parent but it is also a great joy watching other deserving people become parents. I continue to recommend SCI to married straight couples and hope that new singles and gay couples can work with SCI down the road.
It's too early to say now (my daughter is almost 3 months) but even if things don't work out in India, I'm confident I will have a third child - as long as my aging body and mind can keep up! Seriously! LOL!
Thank you for letting me share this part of my world with you!
However, I still remain positive and hopeful that the law will change. So far everything points towards that based on various conversations. Sounds like in the next few months or so, we might hear some news impacting single persons. For now, as I do everyday, I focus on the positives in my life. I appreciate what I have versus dwell on what I don't have. I continue to dream and plan. I continue to follow the dreams of my fellow SCI clients - it is such an immense joy becoming a parent but it is also a great joy watching other deserving people become parents. I continue to recommend SCI to married straight couples and hope that new singles and gay couples can work with SCI down the road.
It's too early to say now (my daughter is almost 3 months) but even if things don't work out in India, I'm confident I will have a third child - as long as my aging body and mind can keep up! Seriously! LOL!
Thank you for letting me share this part of my world with you!
Monday, 8 April 2013
Continue To Wait
I don't mind waiting really. I'm not in a hurry to have child #3 but
for the sake of planning, it would be nice to know what my options are
or will be in the future.
The clinic doesn't think there will be a problem with me bringing over a surrogate. I'm just waiting for confirmation from their lawyer. They initially asked me to provide details on my surrogate so they can have sufficient information to advise me whether I can bring her over or not. I am not sure what details they would like me to provide so I'm waiting for that list of details as well.
I also took the opportunity to directly email Dr. Radhey Sharma myself and get his perspectives on things. I just wanted to increase the amount of information I had on my situation. Nothing new - he advised me that the MHA is in the process of revising the earlier guidelines and suggested waiting a few more days or weeks.
So I continue to wait patiently. Life keeps me very busy - I wish I could be on parental leave forever. My daughter is almost three months and November seems too close for comfort! LOL!
Thank you for letting me share this part of my world with you!
The clinic doesn't think there will be a problem with me bringing over a surrogate. I'm just waiting for confirmation from their lawyer. They initially asked me to provide details on my surrogate so they can have sufficient information to advise me whether I can bring her over or not. I am not sure what details they would like me to provide so I'm waiting for that list of details as well.
I also took the opportunity to directly email Dr. Radhey Sharma myself and get his perspectives on things. I just wanted to increase the amount of information I had on my situation. Nothing new - he advised me that the MHA is in the process of revising the earlier guidelines and suggested waiting a few more days or weeks.
So I continue to wait patiently. Life keeps me very busy - I wish I could be on parental leave forever. My daughter is almost three months and November seems too close for comfort! LOL!
Thank you for letting me share this part of my world with you!
Sunday, 24 March 2013
Frozen Embryo Limbo
Dr. Shivani has been great in communicating with me regarding my frozen embryos. She advised me that they are proactively pursuing clarification on the status of the frozen embryos. I'm sure there are many who are in the same boat as I.
As mentioned, I'm still hopeful that these frozen embryos are available to me so I can bring over a surrogate. Initially, I was hoping they could ship my frozen embryos to my clinic here in Canada. You can ship your embryos to India so you would think they could be shipped back. But alas, I was advised that shipment was not possible.
I wholeheartedly trust SCI and am not questioning them, but I have read information online that contradicts that. Some clients of Indian clinics are writing that they can have their embryos shipped to North America - not sure if they are doing this legally but one would assume so. I'm curious how their clinics are able to do this. Also, I found the following Q&A quite informative - it speaks to this situation directly but it also comes from this side of the pond. It's what India decides that is the determining ruling one would assume.
So I'm a bit confused - it would be great if I could ship them to my clinic for sure. Of course, laws, regulations, etc. can change on the drop of a dime as we are experiencing right now. There could have been a loop-hole that they are sealing up tightly as I type this :) Nonetheless, this provides some hope in my eyes. For now, we continue to wait.
Thank you for letting me share this part of my world with you!
PS - Another article on the current surrogacy situation in India.
As mentioned, I'm still hopeful that these frozen embryos are available to me so I can bring over a surrogate. Initially, I was hoping they could ship my frozen embryos to my clinic here in Canada. You can ship your embryos to India so you would think they could be shipped back. But alas, I was advised that shipment was not possible.
I wholeheartedly trust SCI and am not questioning them, but I have read information online that contradicts that. Some clients of Indian clinics are writing that they can have their embryos shipped to North America - not sure if they are doing this legally but one would assume so. I'm curious how their clinics are able to do this. Also, I found the following Q&A quite informative - it speaks to this situation directly but it also comes from this side of the pond. It's what India decides that is the determining ruling one would assume.
So I'm a bit confused - it would be great if I could ship them to my clinic for sure. Of course, laws, regulations, etc. can change on the drop of a dime as we are experiencing right now. There could have been a loop-hole that they are sealing up tightly as I type this :) Nonetheless, this provides some hope in my eyes. For now, we continue to wait.
Thank you for letting me share this part of my world with you!
PS - Another article on the current surrogacy situation in India.
Saturday, 23 March 2013
Potpourri of Thoughts Part 2
Recently, we had a nice stretch of sunshine so I took my son to a local bike shop to get his first real bike. The options were limited but I prefer supporting local businesses versus the big sporting stores even if it means spending a little bit more. After saying that, the prices are quite comparable. What really impresses me with most local bike shops is that they provide free service for up to a year after purchase.
I especially like these guys because they are focused on the customer needs and not the sale. The owner told me, given my son's height is at the cusp of smaller and medium bikes, I should get him a used small bike and purchase a new one at the end of the year. However, my son is just over 5 years old so it would be nice to have the training wheels to start even if it is for a week. I believe in the approach of taking off the pedals and training wheels as seen in this video. But since it's my son's first time on a real bike, the training wheels will let him get used to sitting on and riding a bike. He loves his bike so I'm a happy parent. Of course, he also got a helmet. Once he learns to ride a bike, I will get one as well so we can go bike riding together.
With 8 more months of parental leave remaining, I've started to think about a vacation. We usually take two splurge trips per year - last year we went to Disneyland twice and stayed onsite. India was fun but not necessarily a pure vacation. This year, we'll probably just do one splurge vacation - I don't count trips to Vancouver Island, other locations in BC, Washington or Oregon states, etc. because they are so close.
I'm not concerned with travelling with my daughter - my son went to Australia at 3 months. I've always said that when I have kids, I will show them the world, which I started with my son. Sometimes, people say, they are too young to remember. My usual responses include there are photo memories, and you can take them again and again and again. Most importantly, the joy they experience at the moment in time cannot be replaced even if the memory is gone when they are older. But again, to each his or her own. Of course, my son wants to go to Disneyland again - the other option is Hawaii, which my son has been to twice (Maui). Probably go to Kauai this time around. Sure, he likes the beach and sand but nothing compares to Disneyland for a 5-year-old who loves the rides and attractions. I'm thinking October if Disneyland (like last year) and November if Hawaii. There's also Thomasland in the UK or Japan. For the Spring, Summer, and Fall seasons, there are many places nearby that we could drive or take a short flight to. The shopping and shores of Washington and Oregon are awesome especially in the summer :)
We tend not to escape during the summers because Vancouver summers are usually quite nice - although in recent past, the summers are getting a bit warm for me. I am not a fan of the heat. Although we get our fair share of rain, it seems like we get less and less of it every year, or at least we are experiencing warmer temperatures. The great thing about Vancouver is that we don't get much snow unlike the rest of Canada but some people like the snow. I don't mind watching it, playing it in with my son, skiing on it, etc. but being on the roads with drivers who cannot drive on snow is not fun.
I enjoy living in Vancouver - I've been here since my teen years. Our family has lived in BC for most of my life. It's not a small city but it's not big relative to Toronto or Montreal either. There's nature, ocean, lakes, mountains, professional sporting teams, plethora of cultures (reflected in the restaurants too), mild (no extreme) temperatures, etc. However, there's not much of a regular nightlife relative to big cities (although we get our fair share of concerts, plays, etc.) and it's the most expensive city to live in Canada.
In December 2012, the average house price was $684,000 - and that doesn't really get you much of a house. I'm around 20 minutes from Downtown and there are no houses that cost that little in my neighbourhood. Among the new homes and newly-renovated homes (like mine) in my area, you might find the odd really old, non-renovated home for $750,000. Most of these homes in my area are a minimum $1 million to the sky's the limit. Of course, you could live further away from the city centre, which usually means a long commute and crossing a minimum of one bridge but some families are willing to sacrifice the commute time for a larger property and home. The housing prices obviously make it difficult for young people and poor immigrants to get into the market. Of course, there are more expensive cities in the world but I've been to many more cities where I could have a mansion for the cost of my home and property! After saying all of that, I doubt I would ever move. It's nice living in North America's top city for Quality of Living, and raising kids here especially in my part of the city. In the end, no matter where you live, you make it your home :)
Thank you for letting me share this part of my world with you!
I especially like these guys because they are focused on the customer needs and not the sale. The owner told me, given my son's height is at the cusp of smaller and medium bikes, I should get him a used small bike and purchase a new one at the end of the year. However, my son is just over 5 years old so it would be nice to have the training wheels to start even if it is for a week. I believe in the approach of taking off the pedals and training wheels as seen in this video. But since it's my son's first time on a real bike, the training wheels will let him get used to sitting on and riding a bike. He loves his bike so I'm a happy parent. Of course, he also got a helmet. Once he learns to ride a bike, I will get one as well so we can go bike riding together.
With 8 more months of parental leave remaining, I've started to think about a vacation. We usually take two splurge trips per year - last year we went to Disneyland twice and stayed onsite. India was fun but not necessarily a pure vacation. This year, we'll probably just do one splurge vacation - I don't count trips to Vancouver Island, other locations in BC, Washington or Oregon states, etc. because they are so close.
I'm not concerned with travelling with my daughter - my son went to Australia at 3 months. I've always said that when I have kids, I will show them the world, which I started with my son. Sometimes, people say, they are too young to remember. My usual responses include there are photo memories, and you can take them again and again and again. Most importantly, the joy they experience at the moment in time cannot be replaced even if the memory is gone when they are older. But again, to each his or her own. Of course, my son wants to go to Disneyland again - the other option is Hawaii, which my son has been to twice (Maui). Probably go to Kauai this time around. Sure, he likes the beach and sand but nothing compares to Disneyland for a 5-year-old who loves the rides and attractions. I'm thinking October if Disneyland (like last year) and November if Hawaii. There's also Thomasland in the UK or Japan. For the Spring, Summer, and Fall seasons, there are many places nearby that we could drive or take a short flight to. The shopping and shores of Washington and Oregon are awesome especially in the summer :)
We tend not to escape during the summers because Vancouver summers are usually quite nice - although in recent past, the summers are getting a bit warm for me. I am not a fan of the heat. Although we get our fair share of rain, it seems like we get less and less of it every year, or at least we are experiencing warmer temperatures. The great thing about Vancouver is that we don't get much snow unlike the rest of Canada but some people like the snow. I don't mind watching it, playing it in with my son, skiing on it, etc. but being on the roads with drivers who cannot drive on snow is not fun.
I enjoy living in Vancouver - I've been here since my teen years. Our family has lived in BC for most of my life. It's not a small city but it's not big relative to Toronto or Montreal either. There's nature, ocean, lakes, mountains, professional sporting teams, plethora of cultures (reflected in the restaurants too), mild (no extreme) temperatures, etc. However, there's not much of a regular nightlife relative to big cities (although we get our fair share of concerts, plays, etc.) and it's the most expensive city to live in Canada.
In December 2012, the average house price was $684,000 - and that doesn't really get you much of a house. I'm around 20 minutes from Downtown and there are no houses that cost that little in my neighbourhood. Among the new homes and newly-renovated homes (like mine) in my area, you might find the odd really old, non-renovated home for $750,000. Most of these homes in my area are a minimum $1 million to the sky's the limit. Of course, you could live further away from the city centre, which usually means a long commute and crossing a minimum of one bridge but some families are willing to sacrifice the commute time for a larger property and home. The housing prices obviously make it difficult for young people and poor immigrants to get into the market. Of course, there are more expensive cities in the world but I've been to many more cities where I could have a mansion for the cost of my home and property! After saying all of that, I doubt I would ever move. It's nice living in North America's top city for Quality of Living, and raising kids here especially in my part of the city. In the end, no matter where you live, you make it your home :)
Thank you for letting me share this part of my world with you!
Potpourri of Thoughts Part 1
So I'm pretty sure I will try having baby #3 in late 2014. I'm still
hoping that my frozen embryos will be available to me. Specifically, I
hope to bring over a surrogate but not sure if that is possible. I have received a response from the clinic, which I appreciate given everything they are going through right now. Basically, it's a waiting game as their lawyer looks into the possibility of me bringing over a surrogate. Perhaps that might help my cause versus using an Indian surrogate - probably not but dreams are free! I am also crossing my fingers for all the
other single and LGBT clients out there with frozen embryos! I have been blessed with two children and my heart wants the same for everyone. For now, we wait... both patiently and impatiently.
So after experiencing life with two kiddies in the last couple of months, I've gotten back to thinking about my next child. Specifically, how challenging it would be if I ended up with twins. After saying that, I would rather have twins than no baby. Even so, if I am able to bring over a surrogate, I would most likely implant the maximum four embryos to increase my chances of having a baby. As a single parent (albeit an uber-organized, emotionally-balanced one) life is pretty manageable with two kiddies and would be probably so with three but four kids? :) Initially, I was going to hire a nanny but that would defeat the purpose of having kids in my personal opinion but I appreciate others may have a different perspective. I actually quite enjoy being a single parent (appreciating I haven't experienced anything different), making the decisions and doing things my own efficient way, similar to Kate Gosselin but with way fewer children! LOL! But if I were blessed with twins this time around, I would hire some help for sure - probably a part-time housekeeper moreso than a nanny. Of course, I have all my family and friends in-town but I am the parent - they are a great resource but I never rely on them 24/7.
I cannot believe that 2 months has already come and gone. I have around 8 months of parental leave remaining. In Canada, I (as the father) can only receive a maximum of 35 weeks of parental benefits and of course, no maternity benefits, which is 17 weeks max in total. The benefit is only around a maximum of $800 every 2 weeks - nowhere near what I earn but something is better than nothing so not complaining. I'm taking extra weeks off without benefits but not concerned as I financially planned it that way. I'm grateful that my boss granted me the extended leave as I do have a higher profile position in the company plus companies are only legislatively required to provide 35 weeks of parental leave.
Speaking of my daughter, her 100-day celebration of life is also fast approaching in late April. In the Chinese culture, it's known as a Red Egg & Ginger Party. To keep the numbers down (only 110 guests), I rented out a small Chinese restaurant (which includes a set menu for each table). This is pretty small relative to what some of my friends have done for their kids. Kids are important in all cultures but especially in the Chinese culture. I love planning parties but I'm keeping this one simple - just invitations, favours for each guest (including a photocard), a photographer, and a cool "guestbook" (as pictured but will get it made with different coloured frame, background, and hearts). Guests sign a heart and slide it down inside the photo frame.
I also need to find her a dress. There are many online stores that sell very cool baby dresses. One of my favourite online stores is LaBella Flora Children's Boutique. Given the time of the year, I would prefer a dress that had long-sleeves. I also want something classy and age-appropriate - no offense to parents who want to dress up their daughters like "adults" - I usually use a few other terms :) I'm leaning towards something like the "Katie Rose Baby Gown Girls Gown in Ivory Sara" (as pictured). It's not bad at $101 - I can save it for my daughter just in case she has a daughter of her own one day. Plus if I can spend five times that much on an individual aquarium fish, I shouldn't question such a purchase for my daughter! My friends would surely be on my case :)
Part 2 coming in the next post. A friend of mine is a celebrity blogger and always reminds me to keep my posts short and use paragraphs. I use paragraphs but not sure if my posts are actually "short" :) Of course, with two kids, I rarely finish a post in less than three sittings! LOL!
Thank you for letting me share this part of my world with you!
So after experiencing life with two kiddies in the last couple of months, I've gotten back to thinking about my next child. Specifically, how challenging it would be if I ended up with twins. After saying that, I would rather have twins than no baby. Even so, if I am able to bring over a surrogate, I would most likely implant the maximum four embryos to increase my chances of having a baby. As a single parent (albeit an uber-organized, emotionally-balanced one) life is pretty manageable with two kiddies and would be probably so with three but four kids? :) Initially, I was going to hire a nanny but that would defeat the purpose of having kids in my personal opinion but I appreciate others may have a different perspective. I actually quite enjoy being a single parent (appreciating I haven't experienced anything different), making the decisions and doing things my own efficient way, similar to Kate Gosselin but with way fewer children! LOL! But if I were blessed with twins this time around, I would hire some help for sure - probably a part-time housekeeper moreso than a nanny. Of course, I have all my family and friends in-town but I am the parent - they are a great resource but I never rely on them 24/7.
I cannot believe that 2 months has already come and gone. I have around 8 months of parental leave remaining. In Canada, I (as the father) can only receive a maximum of 35 weeks of parental benefits and of course, no maternity benefits, which is 17 weeks max in total. The benefit is only around a maximum of $800 every 2 weeks - nowhere near what I earn but something is better than nothing so not complaining. I'm taking extra weeks off without benefits but not concerned as I financially planned it that way. I'm grateful that my boss granted me the extended leave as I do have a higher profile position in the company plus companies are only legislatively required to provide 35 weeks of parental leave.
Speaking of my daughter, her 100-day celebration of life is also fast approaching in late April. In the Chinese culture, it's known as a Red Egg & Ginger Party. To keep the numbers down (only 110 guests), I rented out a small Chinese restaurant (which includes a set menu for each table). This is pretty small relative to what some of my friends have done for their kids. Kids are important in all cultures but especially in the Chinese culture. I love planning parties but I'm keeping this one simple - just invitations, favours for each guest (including a photocard), a photographer, and a cool "guestbook" (as pictured but will get it made with different coloured frame, background, and hearts). Guests sign a heart and slide it down inside the photo frame.
I also need to find her a dress. There are many online stores that sell very cool baby dresses. One of my favourite online stores is LaBella Flora Children's Boutique. Given the time of the year, I would prefer a dress that had long-sleeves. I also want something classy and age-appropriate - no offense to parents who want to dress up their daughters like "adults" - I usually use a few other terms :) I'm leaning towards something like the "Katie Rose Baby Gown Girls Gown in Ivory Sara" (as pictured). It's not bad at $101 - I can save it for my daughter just in case she has a daughter of her own one day. Plus if I can spend five times that much on an individual aquarium fish, I shouldn't question such a purchase for my daughter! My friends would surely be on my case :)
Part 2 coming in the next post. A friend of mine is a celebrity blogger and always reminds me to keep my posts short and use paragraphs. I use paragraphs but not sure if my posts are actually "short" :) Of course, with two kids, I rarely finish a post in less than three sittings! LOL!
Thank you for letting me share this part of my world with you!
Wednesday, 13 March 2013
Cute as a Button
OK, so I am biased :) My daughter looks very much like her
brother at this stage minus the hair and eye colour. She'll look more biracial than her brother I suspect. Healthy as per
doctor's check-up. Has a little cradle cap and eczema but that will go
away.
Nothing new to report really - she's a great baby so I feel blessed. She can sleep through the night already but feedings are important for growth. Doctor agrees and says only "over-sized" babies don't need night feedings. I chuckled when he said that - my daughter is definitely not "over-sized" as she is in the 50th percentile for length, weight, and head. I really like this doctor - he's intelligent, funny, patient, and focused on the individual.
Interesting news about FRRO - I hope it works out for everyone who is impacted. I'm not sure if I am impacted or not as a single individual so I have sent an email to the clinic to inquire. My plan was to bring a surrogate over to India to get implanted with my frozen embryos. I'm hoping I can still do that although my plans for a third child have been postponed.
Thank you for letting me share this part of my world with you!
Nothing new to report really - she's a great baby so I feel blessed. She can sleep through the night already but feedings are important for growth. Doctor agrees and says only "over-sized" babies don't need night feedings. I chuckled when he said that - my daughter is definitely not "over-sized" as she is in the 50th percentile for length, weight, and head. I really like this doctor - he's intelligent, funny, patient, and focused on the individual.
Interesting news about FRRO - I hope it works out for everyone who is impacted. I'm not sure if I am impacted or not as a single individual so I have sent an email to the clinic to inquire. My plan was to bring a surrogate over to India to get implanted with my frozen embryos. I'm hoping I can still do that although my plans for a third child have been postponed.
Thank you for letting me share this part of my world with you!
Tuesday, 26 February 2013
This & That
Not too much to report on my end. I still enjoy reading posts especially hearing that the Aussie couples I met in India are having wonderful pregnancies. That makes my heart smile!
We recently celebrated Chinese New Year with the family. Although I came to Canada when I was 3, I believe in carrying on some Chinese traditions especially those that involve family gatherings
Firstly, my daughter is doing well. Still pretty routine, not fussy, and being a great baby. Part of this is because I am a second-time parent so the things that might have worried me the first time around, don't have much impact on me now because you learn so much from the first child. She is almost 10 pounds as of this post and the only thing I'm having to deal with is her cradle cap, which will eventually go away so no worries on my end.
Secondly, my son continues to be a great big brother and helper, and wonderfully independent when I can't attend to him right there and then. School is going well and he's involved in more activities outside of home - his iPad is still his favourite toy. I am so proud of him and am amazed with his development. He is a tall 5-year-old (just turned in December), standing 47" tall. We all say this of our kids but my tall, sandy-blond, light-blue eyed, handsome boy will be a heart breaker.
Thirdly, I'm doing well. I can't say there's much stress on my end. I LOVE being off from work although I visit now and then especially lunch with my work friends. Parenting a second time around is "easier" in that you know what to worry about and what not to. The only thing I'm finding different is my tolerance for interrupted sleep - when my son was born, I was 36 and I found it very easy getting up every four hours to feed him. Fast forward five years later (now 41 and 42 next month), I'm still OK with interrupted sleep but definitely more sluggish than when my son was a baby. Every parent is different but I am getting older :) Of course, as a single parent, I don't have anyone to pass on late night duties but I never had so I don't know any better really.
That is a great segue into my next topic - will I have baby #3 and if yes, when? I have not read into details the new rules and regulations around surrogacy in India but as mentioned in a previous post, I will be bringing a surrogate with me to India. Well, I hope to - my previous surrogate is open to another journey with me so as long as she's willing to come to India and get implanted, it's all good. So right now, I plan on having baby #3 especially since I have 9 embryos remaining. When? I doubt it will be 2014 but never say never. It looks more like 2015 but we shall see.
I hope everyone in SCI Land is doing well and that everyone's parenthood dreams are coming true. I cannot wait to return to SCI in the future to try again. If I do win the lottery, I will surely be back there sooner than later! LOL!
Thank you for letting me share this part of my world with you!
Firstly, my daughter is doing well. Still pretty routine, not fussy, and being a great baby. Part of this is because I am a second-time parent so the things that might have worried me the first time around, don't have much impact on me now because you learn so much from the first child. She is almost 10 pounds as of this post and the only thing I'm having to deal with is her cradle cap, which will eventually go away so no worries on my end.
Secondly, my son continues to be a great big brother and helper, and wonderfully independent when I can't attend to him right there and then. School is going well and he's involved in more activities outside of home - his iPad is still his favourite toy. I am so proud of him and am amazed with his development. He is a tall 5-year-old (just turned in December), standing 47" tall. We all say this of our kids but my tall, sandy-blond, light-blue eyed, handsome boy will be a heart breaker.
Thirdly, I'm doing well. I can't say there's much stress on my end. I LOVE being off from work although I visit now and then especially lunch with my work friends. Parenting a second time around is "easier" in that you know what to worry about and what not to. The only thing I'm finding different is my tolerance for interrupted sleep - when my son was born, I was 36 and I found it very easy getting up every four hours to feed him. Fast forward five years later (now 41 and 42 next month), I'm still OK with interrupted sleep but definitely more sluggish than when my son was a baby. Every parent is different but I am getting older :) Of course, as a single parent, I don't have anyone to pass on late night duties but I never had so I don't know any better really.
That is a great segue into my next topic - will I have baby #3 and if yes, when? I have not read into details the new rules and regulations around surrogacy in India but as mentioned in a previous post, I will be bringing a surrogate with me to India. Well, I hope to - my previous surrogate is open to another journey with me so as long as she's willing to come to India and get implanted, it's all good. So right now, I plan on having baby #3 especially since I have 9 embryos remaining. When? I doubt it will be 2014 but never say never. It looks more like 2015 but we shall see.
I hope everyone in SCI Land is doing well and that everyone's parenthood dreams are coming true. I cannot wait to return to SCI in the future to try again. If I do win the lottery, I will surely be back there sooner than later! LOL!
Thank you for letting me share this part of my world with you!
Thursday, 31 January 2013
Happy Healthy Beginning
Isabelle is just shy of 3 weeks old and all is going well. Similar to her brother, Isabelle is a great baby. Feeds and burps well. Does #1 and #2 on an ongoing basis. Alert when she's up. Sleeps very well. Not fussy. Rarely cries - only when I don't anticipate her feeding, which is rare because she puts herself on a regular feeding schedule.
Each baby is a blessing but I thank God everyday that - so far - she is a "low-maintenance" baby. I hear stories from friends, acquaintances, co-workers, nurses, strangers, etc. about their infants and although each baby is a blessing, I'm very blessed to have babies that are happy and routine. At the hospital, there were babies in two rooms to the left of my surrogate's room and another baby to the right. I stayed overnight of course looking after my daughter but the all the babies around us were crying a lot, sometimes for long stretches. It's very normal for babies to cry and you roll with the punches, but I will admit that for me, having babies that don't cry a lot makes my days and nights more pleasant and enjoyable.
There is a slight adjustment with having two kids especially as a single parent. Although my son is the perfect big brother, helper, and independent self-entertainer, there are times I feel some guilt because I can't give him sole attention anymore. Not that it matters to him because (1) he's not a needy child, (2) he understands someone has to take care of his little sister, and (3) I still spend focused, quality time with him. So the guilt is unnecessary and self-induced for sure. In fact, I have signed up my son for swimming, skating, and gym this season, and plan on participating in the swimming and learning to skate (my bad especially being Canadian).
I also wondered if I could love a second child. The answer is definitely yes! It's different though for me because I have had five wonderful years with my son. There is a deep bond and love there. With my daughter, the bond and love is there for sure but not as deep given the newness of our relationship. For some parents, the depth of love happens ASAP and for others, the depth develops over time. In the end, it's all great.
Hope everyone is doing well! Thank you for letting me share this part of my world with you!
Each baby is a blessing but I thank God everyday that - so far - she is a "low-maintenance" baby. I hear stories from friends, acquaintances, co-workers, nurses, strangers, etc. about their infants and although each baby is a blessing, I'm very blessed to have babies that are happy and routine. At the hospital, there were babies in two rooms to the left of my surrogate's room and another baby to the right. I stayed overnight of course looking after my daughter but the all the babies around us were crying a lot, sometimes for long stretches. It's very normal for babies to cry and you roll with the punches, but I will admit that for me, having babies that don't cry a lot makes my days and nights more pleasant and enjoyable.
There is a slight adjustment with having two kids especially as a single parent. Although my son is the perfect big brother, helper, and independent self-entertainer, there are times I feel some guilt because I can't give him sole attention anymore. Not that it matters to him because (1) he's not a needy child, (2) he understands someone has to take care of his little sister, and (3) I still spend focused, quality time with him. So the guilt is unnecessary and self-induced for sure. In fact, I have signed up my son for swimming, skating, and gym this season, and plan on participating in the swimming and learning to skate (my bad especially being Canadian).
I also wondered if I could love a second child. The answer is definitely yes! It's different though for me because I have had five wonderful years with my son. There is a deep bond and love there. With my daughter, the bond and love is there for sure but not as deep given the newness of our relationship. For some parents, the depth of love happens ASAP and for others, the depth develops over time. In the end, it's all great.
Hope everyone is doing well! Thank you for letting me share this part of my world with you!
Friday, 18 January 2013
Good = 好 = Hao
With my Chinese origins, I was recently reminded that my life is "good" because I have a son and a daughter. Why is this? Well, if something is good, the Chinese describe it as 好 (hăo). The character 好 consists of 女 (nǚ) daughter and子 (zĭ) son. Yes, for those of you in the know, I am using Mandarin as my reference although I grew up in household speaking Mandarin, Cantonese, and Hokkien (including English of course). I'm not fluent but not uncommon for someone who arrived in Canada at the age of 3.
The reason why the appearance of daughters and sons in the character 好 means good or beautiful can be explained with the aid of the Chinese culture. Other websites describe it better but basically, in Chinese culture (generically speaking), parents find their children unconditionally good and beautiful and think that their children are kindhearted the minute they are born. Also, another explanation implies that a family is good because they have sons and daughters, because the children embody the continued existence and happiness of a family. Since time immemorial, the Chinese put much emphasis on the value of a family and kin, which is reflected in traditional practices of ancestor worship.
I'm sure these values are shared in other cultures around the world. Nonetheless, this provides an explanation for the link between having a son and daughter, and the why my life is good and beautiful, 好.
Thank you for letting me share this part of my world with you!
The reason why the appearance of daughters and sons in the character 好 means good or beautiful can be explained with the aid of the Chinese culture. Other websites describe it better but basically, in Chinese culture (generically speaking), parents find their children unconditionally good and beautiful and think that their children are kindhearted the minute they are born. Also, another explanation implies that a family is good because they have sons and daughters, because the children embody the continued existence and happiness of a family. Since time immemorial, the Chinese put much emphasis on the value of a family and kin, which is reflected in traditional practices of ancestor worship.
I'm sure these values are shared in other cultures around the world. Nonetheless, this provides an explanation for the link between having a son and daughter, and the why my life is good and beautiful, 好.
Thank you for letting me share this part of my world with you!
Day 6 of Life
Isabelle is now 6 days old and I basically have gotten used to her routine. She only cries when she is hungry and usually when she has a wet/dirty diaper. I say usually because those darn diapers are so absorbent these days. Good for now but not so good when toilet training. She is not fussy at all. Similar to her brother, she is very laid-back unlike their dad. OK, I'm laid-back about unimportant things but not so much with important things.
I'm getting over a one-day fever probably due to lack of sleep. At least it's not the nasty flu/cold that has been plaguing so many people. I still have to get my flu shot although I'm technically allergic to eggs. My son just got his flu shot plus his 4-6 year old immunization shots - he was such a trooper. He is an awesome big brother, helpful as always but independent enough that he can play on his own when I'm busy with his sister. Of course, he's 5 years old so not unexpected.
I am putting my SCI dreams on hold. I still have 9 embryos remaining and hopefully in the future, I can have the opportunity to try to have baby #3. I will most likely bring over a surrogate and implant her with the embryos but we shall see. Part of this depends on whether there will be drastic changes to surrogacy laws in India to prevent me from bringing baby home. For now, I am very blessed to have a wonderful son and now a wonderful daughter.
Unlike her blond and blue-eyed brother, Isabelle looks more biracial - funny how genetics can work. In fact, she looks like my sister combined with my son as infants. Also, I'm not a fan of pacifiers nor was my son but with my daughter, I use it when changing her and especially while she waits for formula - she's very happy to have it while she waits.
Thank you for letting me share this part of my life with you!
I'm getting over a one-day fever probably due to lack of sleep. At least it's not the nasty flu/cold that has been plaguing so many people. I still have to get my flu shot although I'm technically allergic to eggs. My son just got his flu shot plus his 4-6 year old immunization shots - he was such a trooper. He is an awesome big brother, helpful as always but independent enough that he can play on his own when I'm busy with his sister. Of course, he's 5 years old so not unexpected.
I am putting my SCI dreams on hold. I still have 9 embryos remaining and hopefully in the future, I can have the opportunity to try to have baby #3. I will most likely bring over a surrogate and implant her with the embryos but we shall see. Part of this depends on whether there will be drastic changes to surrogacy laws in India to prevent me from bringing baby home. For now, I am very blessed to have a wonderful son and now a wonderful daughter.
Unlike her blond and blue-eyed brother, Isabelle looks more biracial - funny how genetics can work. In fact, she looks like my sister combined with my son as infants. Also, I'm not a fan of pacifiers nor was my son but with my daughter, I use it when changing her and especially while she waits for formula - she's very happy to have it while she waits.
Thank you for letting me share this part of my life with you!
Tuesday, 15 January 2013
Special Package Arrived
Infant 101 is all coming back to me now! It hits you so fast, which is great but also overwhelming if it's been some time since your last baby. But you settle in quite quickly. I'm grateful that I thrive during late nights but I am getting older :) Sorry for the short post but I will write more later.
Thank you for sharing this part of my world with you!
Saturday, 5 January 2013
Waiting for Baby
Happy New Year to everyone! It's been three weeks since my last post - we are at week 36 today
(Saturday) with my surrogacy baby here in Canada! It's incredible how
fast time has flown by.
All is well and although it's only week 36, baby is measuring way ahead of schedule. Most internet sites say that baby should be around 6 pounds at this stage. Well, on Thursday, my "little" one (similar to her brother) was measured weighing 7 pounds 8 ounces via ultrasound. She's measuring 39-40 weeks and having contractions albeit Braxton Hicks but could be anytime soon.
I was hoping for two more weeks but my surrogate feels baby might come sooner. I am more or less organized for baby's arrival - unwisely, I decided to organize not only baby areas but also the rest of the house! Crazy but it's efficient - well, it was when I thought I had more time! I'm also training and orientating my temporary replacement at work so a little more time would be nice although I can make myself available after baby is born.
I'm still waiting to hear back from SCI regarding my financial question. I assume with the beginning of the year, everyone is either off or really busy. I do hope to hear back from Meg, Margarida, or SCI soon. I will probably feel a little better once this limbo has been dealt with.
For now, I wait for the arrival of my daughter here in Canada. We'll do another ultrasound in two weeks and discuss labour induction - I would prefer to induce than have my surrogate go through a c-section because the baby is too big. Mind you, my first surrogate delivered my son (10lbs 2oz) vaginally without any tearing but still, why risk it? As mentioned, my surrogate believes baby will come before the two weeks is up. I will see her and the doctor next week so we'll get another progress report.
I hope everyone is doing well with their journeys, whatever stage you are at!
Thank you for letting me share this part of my world with you!
All is well and although it's only week 36, baby is measuring way ahead of schedule. Most internet sites say that baby should be around 6 pounds at this stage. Well, on Thursday, my "little" one (similar to her brother) was measured weighing 7 pounds 8 ounces via ultrasound. She's measuring 39-40 weeks and having contractions albeit Braxton Hicks but could be anytime soon.
I was hoping for two more weeks but my surrogate feels baby might come sooner. I am more or less organized for baby's arrival - unwisely, I decided to organize not only baby areas but also the rest of the house! Crazy but it's efficient - well, it was when I thought I had more time! I'm also training and orientating my temporary replacement at work so a little more time would be nice although I can make myself available after baby is born.
I'm still waiting to hear back from SCI regarding my financial question. I assume with the beginning of the year, everyone is either off or really busy. I do hope to hear back from Meg, Margarida, or SCI soon. I will probably feel a little better once this limbo has been dealt with.
For now, I wait for the arrival of my daughter here in Canada. We'll do another ultrasound in two weeks and discuss labour induction - I would prefer to induce than have my surrogate go through a c-section because the baby is too big. Mind you, my first surrogate delivered my son (10lbs 2oz) vaginally without any tearing but still, why risk it? As mentioned, my surrogate believes baby will come before the two weeks is up. I will see her and the doctor next week so we'll get another progress report.
I hope everyone is doing well with their journeys, whatever stage you are at!
Thank you for letting me share this part of my world with you!
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