What am I talking about? Results are in from my first FET at SCI and it's a low beta HCG value of 41, which SCI categorizes as a "weak positive". So the words "weak positive" are disappointing for sure. However, as many of you know, 41 is just a number and it's what happens to that value in the next couple of days that will tell the tale.
Why déjà vu? Well, when my first surrogate was pregnant with my son, our first beta HCG value was 42 on a Thursday. I remember being so excited when she told me the number. I don't recall being disappointed at all, which is supported by past entries in my first blog. Anyway, that beta value grew to 393 a few days later on Monday during our second beta HCG test.
However, with baby #2, our first beta was 299 - that's much higher than 41. So I can see why 41 is considered a "weak positive". For some reason, I am being affected by the recency effect, meaning more recent events are having more influence over me than the less recent events. Given this, I don't have a good feeling overall. Of course, initial beta values can vary significantly from pregnancy to pregnancy. Betabase is evidence of that!
So as you can tell, I'm not exactly sure how to feel. "Weak positive" has a sad tone while my beta numbers from my first child suggest it's not over until "the fat lady sings". So I'm hoping for a true déjà vu and see that 41 double, double, and double in the next few days. One thing is for sure though - I still believe what's meant to be, will be. Perhaps it's a way to protect myself from negative and sad news but I also know I cannot force things to happen that I do not have control over.
Happy Halloween!
Thank you for letting me share this part of my world with you!
Hello J, we have our fingers cross for you, hoping the HCG sky rockets.
ReplyDeleteI&D XOXOX
As you stated, you have no control over what will happen, so there's no reason to be anything but optimistic about the news. Maybe not a BFP, but a positive just as well! Congrats, we'll be crossing our fingers for you!
ReplyDeleteKeep your chin up mine was in the 90s and I got a strong baby growing in my surro. Numbers are number just wait and see what happens
ReplyDeleteThanks, guys! Definitely hoping for the best still. If beta increases, great. If not, I will probably keep the remaining totsicles in storage for a few years but not 100% sure. I'm concerned if I wait too long, the Indian surrogacy laws will change significantly making it formally impossible for singles and/or gay couples to pursue surrogacy in India. There's always the option of shipping the embryos back home. Just food for my own thoughts - of course, still crossing fingers for this FET.
ReplyDeleteFingers crossed for you. Parents have had twins with betas in their 40's so you can't put a whole lot of weight in that number. Easier said than done, of course!
ReplyDeleteHope you get some more definitive and positive news very soon. The extra waiting is a killer but hopefully your peanut is just a late bloomer. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI went through the same thing not so long ago. The beta Hcg value for Neha's pregnancy was 41.54, a weak positive. Now she has passed twelve weeks pregnant and doing great.
ReplyDeleteIt was nice to read that your son's pregnancy started out the same way too:) !
Here's to good news and doubling beta values. My thoughts are with you for exciting news!!
Thanks, Craig. Funny enough I remembered your post and went back to read it to give me additional hope. Plus, as you mentioned, my son started out that way too. Thanks again for the well wishes!
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